It’s no secret that I have been in a bit of a personal funk for the last year or so. I used to find so much pleasure in writing my blog and I lost that last year. I was depressed, and didn’t want to bring everyone else down with me, so I just stopped writing.
But I found that I missed it more that I realized. I started journaling again — just for myself, as most if it was too private for anyone else to see. I will admit — some of those journal entries turned into blog posts, but they are still sitting in drafts. I’m not sure if I will ever really be ready to publish them or not.
In finding my voice again, I found that there was still a part of me that needed to grow and change. I’ve spent a lot of time stuck and holding on this past two years, and while it is a huge struggle to let go, I have slowing been working on doing that. On finding me. And listening to that tiny voice inside that always keeps pushing me.
Tonight, after a long day at work, a stressful weekend, and the overwhelming “joy” that comes with having traffic court in the morning, just as I grabbed the new bag of potato chips, that little voice decided to pipe up.
I have been making some really good choices lately. Doing things that I know are good for me because I want them for me and not for someone else. Don’t read the rest of the paragraph mom — but I quit smoking 5 and a half weeks ago (woo-hoo) and I have been *trying* to eat a bit healthier. Minus that bag of chips I mentioned earlier.
But what I really need to do is get off my butt and get back into working out regularly. I have been working out. I cannot lie — I love me some squats. I tend to do them while zoning out watching my shows or a movie. Quick and easy, you know, my kind of workout.
Yet I really feel like I need a sweat your ass off, ready to drop dead by the end of it workout.
Do you ever feel that way??
I never used to. It’s something completely new, and I am trying to embrace it.
Well, my healthy minded self is. My lazy self that just wants to eat potato chips puts up a pretty decent fight.
It’s usually a toss up as to who wins for the night.
Such is life I guess.
So for now, I am working on finding the balance between those delicious potato chips and doing more than just the squats that are keeping said potato chips from settling in my behind. 😉