How to Have a Mutually Agreed Upon Divorce

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Divorce is one of those life events that often ends in long-term sadness; no matter what, there will be suffering and loss to contend with. Before divorcing it’s important to take stock of the marriage, as well as communicate with your spouse if you can. A mutually agreed upon divorce will mean less arguments and less legal preparation. Moreover, it’s important to settle the custody issues regarding children and pets before entering the courtroom. By communicating about the following aspects of divorce, you may save yourself from depression or anger down the road.

According to John N. Kitta & Associates, a family lawyer in San Jose, divorce involves the following legal variables:

  • Financial issues
  • Property division challenges
  • And, conflicts about child support and alimony

Property and Debt Settlements 

During the marriage, the couple may have acquired some valuable assets. Or, they may have incurred a great deal of debt. Or, both. In order to settle these financial matters, it’s helpful to have reached an agreement on how to divide property and debt before entering a courtroom.

Regardless whose name the property or debt is in, both parties have responsibility if it’s is considered communal. Some examples of communal property and debt are: savings accounts, motor vehicles, recreational vehicles, stocks and funds, hidden assets, business assets, retirement benefits (IRA, etc.), home ownership, and many others.

Parenting Settlements

If you have children, they are the most important part of your divorce, but you already know that. Each parent will want time with the children, but if both parents want to be custodial parent there’s an issue. Only one parent can be the custodial parent, but hopefully you’ll be able to come to a mutual agreement on this issue. In many cases the mother is the custodial parent, unless physical or emotional abuse or drug/alcohol abuse can be proven.

If you must prove a case in order to win sole custody, it’s essential that you fully interpret your state’s custody law. In this case, you need a good family lawyer. You’ll also need evidence that the other parent isn’t safe to be around the child.

If things are amicable, you’ll need to come up with an agreed upon schedule for visitation for the non-custodial parent. This includes holiday plans, birthdays, and other important dates. You’ll also need to discuss child support, insurance, and emergency plans.

An Attorney is Useful Even in the Mutually Agreed Upon Divorce

Don’t make the mistake of representing yourself. A trustworthy attorney can inform you about procedures, as well as help you make decisions that are best for your family. Remember, your emotions are running high, and could cause you to make a determination that’s not in your best interest.

Your attorney will consult with you about your options, as well as draft your divorce papers. It’s his job to get your agreements in front of a judge, and have them approved in an efficient manner. Plus, who else can bring forth motions that oppose the side in the cases of disputes?

Divorces aren’t elegant; nor, do they result in immediate satisfaction. It takes time to heal from a divorce, but that healing time is greatly extended when the divorce is difficult. Although not all spouses will be agreeable, if you can talk to yours about the things that matter. See if you can’t work it out before heading into the courtroom. This is going to help achieve a fair and healthy divorce. And, don’t forget to bring your attorney.



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